Funny Special Instructions and Illustrations When Ordering a Pizza

Although ordering pizza over the phone is still the preferred method for most, ordering online is the way to go. Not only do you lower the risk of your ordering being messed up due to high call volume or excessive noise in the background, but you get the chance to leave some really funny instructions for the drivers and cooks.

Draw a Unicorn/Transformer/Wizard on the Box

While not relegated only to the aforementioned figures, it has become a trend for those who spend way too much time on the Internet to request that someone draw something on the box the pizza is delivered in. While you might think that this is a ridiculous request, and that time is not a luxury most pizza delivery workers do not have to spend on drawing on pizza boxes, the sheer number of instances online will prove that some pizza restaurants do indeed have a sense of humor.

On the popular social news aggregator reddit, it has become common for many of its millions of users to make these requests each time they order pizza and post the resulting drawings for what is called “karma.” The only karma that’s important in pizza delivery is the karma one gains from tipping the delivery driver, especially if they deliver you a piping hot pizza being safeguarded by a wizard riding a unicorn that’s crapping rainbows.

Cut Pizza into a Shape

Pizza is typically cut into triangular shaped slices, or, if you’re eating thin crust, squares. Both are easy to eat and provide enough crust so as to prevent the pizza from falling apart in your hands when you pick it up to scarf it down. Hell, you can even get a little eccentric and ask them to cut the pizza into long strips to make pizza breadsticks. But those shapes are boring, a fact made evident by the many images of pizzas online that have been cut into some really crazy shapes.

Some examples include: The Pentagram, in case the Dark Lord you summoned during your epic game of World of Warcraft was hungry; The Isosceles Triangle, requested by those who want to make sure the person cutting the pizza was paying attention in geometry class; and The Concentric Circle, which is just downright insane. How you eat a pizza cut into concentric circles is beyond me, but apparently someone thought it would be hilarious to order one as such.  

Make a Design with the Pizza Toppings

Since the odds are in your favor that the person making your pizza has a degree in Art (or God forbid, Art History), then getting them to make a design on your pizza with your toppings of choice isn’t that far-fetched of an idea. While you can opt for a simple smiley face made out of pepperoni (see below), carefully picking your toppings for the maximum flexibility in your desired design is clearly the way to go. Why? Because all it takes is one amazing artist to receive the order and construct the perfect Mona Lisa made out of pizza toppings, leading to endless fanfare on the Internet. This, of course, will lead to the artist receiving an installation at a local art house wherein they’ll create the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel using Whipped Cream and a toothpick.


Pick Up Beer For You

This one is a crapshoot, due mainly to the legal issues that surround a pizza delivery driver picking up and delivering beer for someone who may or may not be under the age of 21. This request, typically found in college towns, usually comes with the promise of a huge tip, and while it’s always a risk, more often than not the people making said request are on the level. After all, college students take their beer very seriously, and if they’re too drunk to drive and there is no liquor store within walking distance, then the pizza delivery driver is the next best option.
Posted on June 5, 2012 at 9:00 AM